


(don't let) our hearts reflect

by OpheliaMarina



Category: Descendants (2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4501584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaMarina/pseuds/OpheliaMarina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evie is afraid of two things: mirrors and Mal. Both are always looking back at her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(don't let) our hearts reflect

The simple fact of it all is that Evie always thought it was going to be just the four of them and no one else. She's never been good at planning ahead; plotting's always been Mal's job. 

Before they'd left for Auradon, it had taken Mal three hours to fall asleep. Not that falling asleep was ever easy for them anyway, with all four of them squeezed across two grungy mattresses on the basement floor. Still, Mal had tossed and turned with uncharacteristic vigor, and kicked Evie in the shins at least nine times. After hearing her knock her own head against the floor for the second time and grumble in annoyance, Evie felt a shift in the mattress as Mal rolled over to face her. "You awake?" 

Evie didn't open her eyes, but she couldn't help smiling. "Some of us need our beauty sleep, M."

"No kidding," Mal said. Evie had to open her eyes to elbow her, and then to smother her own laughter. All villains appreciate a fast insult, after all.

In the dark, Mal's eyes glowed green, and her breath was hot on Evie's cheek. "Listen, E. We need to give our all on this wand thing, okay? No getting distracted by boys."

Boys got distracted by Evie, not the other way around, and she told Mal so. 

"I'm serious," said Mal, but she was fighting back a smile. If her mother ever asked, it was breaking hearts, but really what made Evie happiest was getting Mal to smile. "All four of us need to work together if this is gonna happen. I can't-" And here Mal paused, deciding how much vulnerability to show. "I can't do this without you."

Of course, but there was nothing that any of them did that they didn't do together. Besides, Mal was never going to find herself in a situation where Evie wouldn't be beside her. It took some shuffling, some knocking of knees, but Evie managed to pull a hand free of their wear-yellow sheet and extend its pinky to Mal. "Us against the world?" 

A slow, reluctant smile finally freed itself across Mal's face, and she hooked Evie's pinky with hers. "Us against the world."

"Hey, beauty queens," said Jay's voice, a foot away in the unseeable darkness, from the mattress he shared with Carlos. "Shut up." 

Mal scowled, but her eyes still fluttered shut. "You shut up. Evil dreams."

"Sweet nightmares," Evie murmured back, and waited for Mal to fall asleep before slipping an arm across her waist. On the Isle Mal always wore a pair of Evie's silkiest pajamas to bed, which she'd commandeered as her own long before Evie could remember. They were too thin for autumn nights, but she slept in them anyway, insisting dragon fire burned hot enough in her veins to keep her warm. 

Evie might have been rotten, but she was never wicked enough to let Mal freeze in her sleep. Instead, she would pull her closer, let Mal's head fall against her clavicle, and rest her chin on the part of Mal's hair. 

It was the only quiet, peaceful moment Evie ever had on the island. The softness of Mal always made her feel warm and a little sad, while it was happening at night and when she remembered it in the day. Still, it was warmth. 

She wouldn't have minded waking up like that, either, but when she did Mal was already up, her side of the mattress empty, and kicking Jay and Carlos awake. "Cuddling isn't evil, losers!" 

x

That's over now, obviously. Evie doesn't wake up next to Mal anymore, and Mal doesn't wear Evie's old pajamas either. When Eve wakes up, it's in a real bed, with enough room for two but meant only for her, and Mal is across from her, stretched and yawning, with the sleeve of Ben's jersey slipping down her shoulder. 

Evie understands love, she does, but not the jersey thing. It smells horrendous, and she can't imagine how Mal becomes fonder of Ben by being wrapped up in his sweat. And this isn't even bitterness talking.

"Morning, E!" Mal chirps, hopping out of bed and throwing open the drapes. "Get up!"

Groaning, Evie pulls her duvet over her head. "You're evil."

"Not anymore," Mal singsongs, pulling open the wardrobe doors. "Up and at 'em, sunshine!"

Instead, Evie stays huddled under the covers, and watched Mal pull Ben's jersey off and over her head. She faces the mirror, allowing her to see both sides of Mal at once. Goodness is becoming on her; it makes her eyes sparkly and her movements more purposeful and her fashion sense better honed. Or maybe that's being in love. 

"Um," Evie says, before she stares too long, "purple tank with that white jacket. And the denim skirt."

Obligingly, Mal begins to shimmy into the top, and Evie slides out of bed one leg at a time, careful to eye Mal without being caught in the mirror. She knows better than anyone that mirrors are always looking back, and are brutally honest about unasked questions. 

She has to snap her gaze away when Mal pauses, one leg already dipped into the skirt. "Can I borrow your fishnets?"

"Sure, of course," Evie says automatically, and hurriedly tugs off her own nightgown so if isn't obvious she's been staring at Mal instead of changing. It's only after she's handed off the tights that she realizes she'll have to redo her whole outfit. 

The sight of Mal in the fishnets, though, makes having to re-layer her top, jacket, and scarf totally worth it. Evie misses her bag the first time she blindly grabs at it. "You look gorgeous," she says. 

Mal blushes, and looks down, spreading her arms wide. "Thanks," she says shyly. Then she reaches out, and hooks their elbows together. "Anyway, let's go! First day of new semester and all five of us are in the same Poetry and Predicaments class!" 

All five of them. Evie smiles back, brightly, and drags Mal in by the elbow so their hips bump. "Let's take them by a storm," she says, and snaps her teeth, and keeps the delighted laugh she gets in return to herself. 

x

Evie already knows she's screwed. She knew she was screwed for sure the first time Mal went on a date with Ben, and by then it was already too late to do anything about it. 

The problem was that Evie didn't see it coming. Even more so than her own beauty and the others' friendship, she had absolute faith in Mal's dedication to being boyfriendless. Mal's love potion and shy schoolgirl act were part of a grander scheme, and Mal was excellent at scheming. Besides, Evie wasn't the type of girl who begrudged fun, and Ben's little number at the tourney game had been the most fun she'd had since getting off the Isle. 

She only really got it when, after the makeup and the girl talk and cinching a belt around her waist, Mal looked at herself in the mirror like she cared who looked back. 

In sixteen years, Mal'd only ever scoffed at mirrors, even Evie's magical one. "Who cares about what you look like?" she'd say, snapping the glass out of Evie's hand and dangling it in front of her, two taunts as one. "It's not like you've got anyone to impress other than our mothers, and it's brains and not beauty that matter there." 

Easy for her to say. Mal could do magic and was clever, besides being gorgeous without trying. Beauty was all Evie had ever had to work with. 

But back then Mal had gazed in the mirror like she'd never seen herself before. "Whoa," she'd murmured, voice soft and unsure, nothing like the Mal Evie knew. "I look..."

Stunning. Evie squeezed her shoulders. "Say it."

Mal grinned to herself, and leaned back against Evie's chest. "Not hideous."

Close enough. But Evie didn't have time to correct her, because then Ben had arrived, and said something corny about the difference between pretty and beautiful in the sincerest of tones, and then Mal had waved and vanished. Evie shut the door behind her, slow, thinking about how Mal must feel having the most powerful boy in the land around her finger. 

Just before the door clicked shut, she realized Mal hadn't said anything about control, or power, or the plan. Only how nervous she was.

But that was normal. Even if it was a fake date, it was Mal's first fake date. Evie still got nervous around boys too, and she'd had lots of practice. It was similar to how Mal could get anxious about schemes, probably. 

It was a very long fake date, though, way longer than any of Evie's real dates, and Evie got irritated in the meantime. Being alone in their dorm for three hours by herself wasn't exactly her dream afternoon. especially since doing so got her thinking about current events, which she'd purposefully been avoiding doing. 

Now there was no way around it. She thought about how furious her mom was going to be if they didn't pull this wand thing off. She thought about what Mal could possibly be doing that was taking this long. She thought about how, before Auradon, she'd never solved a problem on her own in her whole life, math or otherwise. She thought about how good Mal had looked in that dress, her dress, one she had made on the spot from the mere memory of the curves and valleys of Mal's body. She thought about Chad, and even Doug, and how even when she tried boys only looked at her and not through her. 

She thought, not for the first time, how much she'd like to be Mal, beautiful and smart and sharp and confident, knowing exactly what to do to get people to adore her, to make herself unforgettable. Then, she realizes she wouldn't want to be Mal without having Mal by her side. 

Finally, thinking curiously of Ben and the besotted look in his eyes (all magic, obviously, but what girl doesn't want to be looked at like that?), she pulled out her mirror, fell back sideways onto her bed, and held the shard out a foot from her face. 

"Mirror mirror, up above," she said, almost idly, "please show me my one true love." 

Before anything could materialize on its glassy surface, the bed creaked and Evie bounced upward as a body fell down beside her, a pale forearm overlapping hers. When she looked sideways, Mal was lying beside her, cheeks flushed prettily and eyes wide and glittering. Her hands were clasped above her waist. "E," she said breathlessly, "Ben kissed me." 

When Evie looked back in the mirror, there was no shimmering vision. Just Mal, her head turned to face Evie, unseeing of her own beauty. 

Evie wasn't an A student yet, but she'd been getting better at problem solving. She knew exactly what that meant. She put the mirror down.

x

Since then, she hasn't said a word. Evie's good with gossip, but even she knows that some things are meant to be taken to the grave. 

All she does now is remind herself that she doesn't have to give up Mal. Mal is her best friend, and to imagine splitting herself from Mal is as unfathomable as abandoning Jay or Carlos. They're more than a flash in a magic mirror. They're family. 

It's becoming increasingly easy to think so. What's hard is locating Mal after her chemistry class. Considering this is a private school, its halls are pretty bustling. 

"Evie! Hey, Evie!"

It's one of only four voices that can make Evie stop in her tracks, and the only one that makes her turn on her heel. She dips into the lowest curtsy she can manage in these shoes. "Your Majesty."

Ben ducks his head in embarrassment as he reaches her, bookbag clasped beneath one crisply tailored sleeve. "Come on, Evie, stop."

"Is that a royal order, my lord?" she says primly, but can't help giggling as he waves her off, his cheeks a little pink. "Badness, Ben, if you can't handle this how do you get through council meetings?" 

At the mention of the council, he straightens a little, and his expression shifts from being bashful to one of Serious Kingliness. "Uh, actually, speaking of-"

Evie looks over his shoulder, distracted. Ben is sweet, but no matter how cute or nice anyone is, council meetings are boring, case closed. As an unofficial advisor to the king and best friend of his consort, she's sat through her fair share and fallen asleep at every one. "Sorry, but real quick, is Mal with you? I've been looking for her."

"No," Ben says, suddenly looking somber, and to Evie's utter shock, he reaches out and takes her by the shoulder, leaning down a little to look into her eyes. "I wanted to come to talk to you before anyone else. I didn't want you to think I was doing this for Mal, or anyone else but you."

His hand is warm on her sleeve, and for a moment Evie thinks she's done the impossible and gotten the king of Auradon to fall in love with her. Then she thinks better of it. No one falls out of love with Mal. "Doing what?" 

At the question, Ben's mouth turns upwards into his half-smile, the one that means he's pleased with having done something good for someone else. "Evie," he says, "when we met, you told me you were a princess even though it was illegitimate, remember?"

"Ugh, don't remind me," Evie says, tearing her gaze away from Ben to look heavenward. "Forgive, forget, Ben." 

He laughs, and tilts his own head back. "No, no, hang on," he says. "Evie, I put forward a motion to reinstate your royal status."

The worst part about hating Ben is that it's impossible to hate Ben. Evie's been trying for months and he keeps doing stuff like this and she ends up liking him more and more. It's super aggravating. 

When all she does is stare at him, he just chuckles. "And it passed," he says, shaking her a little. "Just today. I wasn't going to tell you until I was absolutely sure. Your Highness." He sweeps into his own very low bow, looking amused and incredibly pleased with himself. 

"Ben!" she cries, appalled by the blasé delivery of it all, and moves forward to step on his foot. He hops back, laughing. "Are you serious? Like, hope-to-die serious?" 

To prove it, he raises his right hand in the air, in a very princely fashion. "Stick a needle in my eye if I lie," he says somberly. Then he brightens again. "You're an official princess, Evie. Your mother's still without title, naturally, but you're an heir to the throne. After any direct descendants of Snow White, of course."

A real princess. Somehow Evie thought the moment would feel bigger. Now she's royalty all on her own; she doesn't need anyone beside her to achieve it anymore. 

It feels a little lonely. 

"Ben," she says, and blinks away the sudden blurriness of her vision, and reaches up to him with both arms. He readily accepts her embrace, squeezing her and patting her back comfortingly, probably thinking the wetness on her cheek is from being overcome with emotion. Technically he's not wrong. "Thank you."

He keeps their hands clasped together even when they come apart. "You're one of my best friends, Evie," he says, as if it's the easiest thing in the world to say so. "And there's no reason for you not to have your birthright. Besides, and don't tell Snow's kids this, but-" Here he leans in, to whisper in her ear. "I think you'd be a better queen than any of them." 

But Mal's the one who's going to be a queen. Evie's only ever going to be a princess. She bites her lip, and smiles. "You're the best king ever, Ben," she says. "I'm gonna go let Jay and Carlos know. Don't tell Mal, okay? I want to be the one to tell her." 

"Sure," Ben says, letting her go. "Congratulations, Princess Evie." 

She wishes so much to hate him, but Ben drains all the evil notions out of a person. It's no wonder Mal, who always wanted her evil notions drained away, would fall in love with him. "Thank you very much, King Ben," she says courteously, and they give each other the lowest bows either can manage. 

x

She'd been handling the loneliness in the pit of her stomach so well, too, which is why finding Jay and Carlos the way they are is even more frustrating than it is surprising. 

They weren't even kissing, was the kick of it. When Evie swings open the door to their dorm, they'd barely even been touching. It's just the barest brush of fingertips, gentle, and they jump apart when she opens the door, so fast that she almost misses it. Dude leaps from Carlos' lap at the sight of her, and begins running circles around where she's frozen to the spot.

"Don't tell Mal," Carlos says immediately, looking petrified. 

Jay mutters something ominous and elbows him in the ribs. "Tell Mal what?" he says, through his teeth. "Right, Evie?" 

Evie opens her mouth to agree that yes, she didn't see anything, but nothing comes out. Instead, all she can think is that this is how things could have been. 

Suddenly the whole scenario fits. Jay and Carlos, Mal and Evie. Friends forever. Never needing anyone else, not for anything. All the love to be had, already there for the taking. 

And they had come so close. It had come so close to being real. It was only Evie that was left alone at the end of things. 

The boys are staring at her. Even Dude's staring at at her, sitting on his hind legs and waiting expectantly. 

"Uh, Evie?" Carlos says cautiously. "What's up?"

She shakes her head, more for her own benefit than theirs. "Sorry," she says. "It's nothing. I'll go." 

Jay's voice gets lost in the heaviness of the oak door as it slams shut, and she leans against the wood and closes her eyes. This isn't the kind of drama she needs in her life. Things are finally starting to be simple. 

As if to contradict her, when she opens her eyes again, there's a decorative display of apples on a hope chest opposite the boys' room. 

They're plasticky red and shiny, and they make Evie think, inexplicably, of Ben. An apple in her hand. An apple between his teeth. 

Then she realizes what she's piecing together, and then she's tearing across the hallway to her own room, and then she's throwing up into the toilet. And then she's crying, and crying, and crying, spread across her bed and sobbing like the first day she'd ever hurt a boy for an object, and her mother told her it was better to love things than people. 

x

That's how she's found an hour later, draped across her own soggy sheets and puffy-eyed from crying. Mal comes into the room beaming, expecting good news, and at the sight of her Evie forgets she has any to give. "Hey, Ben told me you wanted to- good badness, E, what happened to you?" 

"Nothing," Evie says, covering her face- she's never seen herself cry so no one else has either and she's sure the sight's horrible. "Nothing, I'm fine," but Mal is already curled up on the bed behind her, hands braced on her elbows and guiding her into a sitting position. 

Once she's up, Mal's arms wrap around her shoulders. "E," she says, gently, "come on. Ben told me you had something good to tell me." 

Now she remembers- princess. A royal. As good as Ben, nearly, and unfortunately not nearly as composed. "I do," she says, and laughs wetly, then, "I did," and pauses. Like Mal, all those nights ago, deciding how much weakness to give. 

She decides to give all of it. Mal's strong; she can take it better than Evie can. "Mal," she says, and sniffles a little. "Has love ever made anyone turn evil?"

At this, Mal frowns, gaze turning upwards and away from Evie's tearstained face as she thinks. "Gaston, maybe. Well, he was just infatuated with Queen Belle, not in love with her, so he didn't turn evil. He was evil all along."

This is the opposite of what Evie needed to hear. She wails, and buries her face in her pillow. 

She can hear Mal mutter, "shit," and start rubbing more vigorously at Evie's forearms. "Oh, E. Tell me what's wrong."

Quietly, so maybe only the pillow will hear, Evie whispers, "I had an evil thought." 

Mal's hands pause for a second, then go back to stroking. "Everyone has evil thoughts, Evie. It doesn't mean you're-" 

"No, it was a terrible one!" Evie says, and sits up straight again to look at Mal dead-on. Mal draws back, a little startled. "It was something my mother would think of. And I would have done it, too if I hadn't thought-" She stops, and draws her knees to her chest. "No wonder no one loves me."

Something strikes her in the back of the head, and she winces. "Ow! Hey-"

"Don't say stupid stuff like that, because I know you're not stupid," Mal says fiercely. "Obviously people love you. Doug loves you. Ben loves you. Jay and Carlos love you. I love- mmph!"

Even if Evie can't plan ahead, it's obvious that this is the best chance she'll ever get to kiss Mal, so she does. It's far better than kissing a boy. Mal is softer, and smells better, and tastes like strawberries. It's exactly what Evie thought it would be like, right down to Mal not kissing her back. 

When she draws back, Mal's staring at her. Evie had closed her own eyes, but it's clear Mal didn't, and now they're boring a hole through the bridge in Evie's nose. Evie sighs, leans back on her calves, and waits.

Finally, Mal sputters, "But- what about the boys-"

"I don't care about any of the boys," Evie says, which is scarily honest. "I care about you."

Something in Mal's shock softens, but Evie doesn't. She knows how people soften, and what's changed here is pity, not Mal's heart. "Oh, E," she says gently. "I care about you too." 

It's true, Evie knows it's true, but she can't help the scoff that slips out of her. It's mean, vindictive even, but she can't help it any more than the words that slip out after it. "Look, Mal, you're not good enough yet to let me down easy. Just tell me you're not interested and get it over with." 

After that, their room is dead silent. Evie doesn't kid herself into believing it's because she has a chance. Instead, she considers herself in the quiet; probably the first person ever whose love for someone made them want to be bad rather than good. 

It's embarrassing and a little sad to think, now, that this is the first time she's ever out-evilled Mal.

Finally, sounding defeated, Mal says, "What is it that Ben said you wanted to tell me? It's not-" Here her voice breaks, sounding uncertain. "It's not this." 

Ben will never know about this. It's clear in the way Mal says his name. Evie throws her head back, and laughs. 

"Didn't you hear?" she says. "I'm a princess now. Bow."

**Author's Note:**

> I looooved Descendants, and the truest expression of my love for something is through writing femslash. I didn't intend for this to be so sad; I suppose my talent is writing sad fic for happy stories and vice versa. 
> 
> Maybe more in the future! I don't know! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
